How to Turn a Salesman into a Beggar

I’ll never forget that little girl in the Philippines. She had simple wreaths in her hand made out of white flowers – she probably also wore some around her neck. She came in and offered us one.

There were always a lot of kids on the streets who were selling things like that. Or different things – from candy to umbrellas when the rain fell. Not only children, of course. Adults also offered products – sometimes whole families traveling together.

What was rare were people sitting on the sidewalk just asking for food or money.

So, there the little girl was, standing right in front of us holding out a wreath. She couldn’t speak English, so gestures were everything we could use to communicate. Still, there was no doubt.

We gave her the money – whatever the product cost. When she wanted to give us a wreath, I kindly refused. The child insisted. She just didn’t want to move on. She didn’t just want to take our money without actually giving us what she was selling.

Our logic was simple: We wanted to give her the money and let her keep the wreath so that she could sell it to someone else and make that money again.

A good cause, right?

I remember the sad expression and the determination on her face to this day. Why wasn’t she happy about the money? Why was she so dedicated to getting rid of the wreath?

Just the other day, this whole situation played out again. When I left the store, I stopped by the exit where the gentleman was sitting and selling the paper called Kings of the Street.

You may not be familiar with the title. It is a charity organisation in our country, publishing newspaper of homeless people, which these people then sell it on the streets. I believe it is one of the most beautiful and meaningful projects to support the homeless.

For some change you buy a newspaper, rich in content giving an excellent insight into the lives of people on the periphery of our society. Most of the price goes to the street vendor himself.

The most beautiful thing about the project is that the homeless really make it their own. They publish their views, opinions, and experiences. I had the impression many times that they were really proud of it.

I remember once buying a newspaper from a gentleman. He proudly told me that this time he was on the cover, and so it’s all the more important that I take it. So, I paid for the paper.

Ok, so as I was leaving that store after buying a newspaper, another gentleman approached the homeless and proudly said, “Well, I’m not going to take the paper but I’ll give you some change. Here you go.”

Something really bothered me about all this, but at first I couldn’t define what. Now I know.

What did this man want to tell the street vendor?

Did he want to say, “I’m not taking the paper because I don’t like it and I don’t read it, but here I’m giving you a handout”?

Did he mean to say, “I’m not taking the paper so that you have it to sell to someone else”?

In fact, it doesn’t matter which of these variants the man intended to convey. Both convey the same message to the vendor. That is, “I’m not taking the paper.”

That was what bothered me. In a subtle way, the man’s power was taken away.

When I turned down the wreath, which the little girl may have even made herself, I inadvertently told her that I didn’t care what she can give me – just what I can give her. I put myself above her.

That gentleman rejected the newspaper (in which some of the seller’s thoughts might have been published). He inadvertently implied that the content was not important to him (“I’m not interested in you”) but simply that he took pity on him and gave him money. In that instant, they weren’t equal.

I’m much more careful about these things today. That little girl’s sad expression taught me a lesson: every man has something to offer someone else. I think it is right to accept the exchange, no matter what the intentions and motives we have in this.

Isn’t this about humility, after all? Can I accept that someone from the street has something important and valuable to me that I don’t have?