We were born to be real, not perfect

Leonard Cohen, the famous Canadian poet and songwriter, is one of my favorite musicians. His life was a series of dramatic ups and deep declines.

He battled depression, drugs, and alcohol, but eventually found peace, freed himself from the dark disease of addiction, and his songs became more mature and profound.

One of the reasons for Cohen’s radical inner liberation relates to perfectionism and acceptance of his own limitations. His song “Anthem” includes the following lines:

“Ring the bells that still can ring,
forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything,
that’s how the light gets in.”

In these three sentences, the rhetoric is a recipe for inner freedom, openness, and happiness.

Perfectionism Hurts

Sarah Eden, a researcher from the University of Perth, said there is a lot of research linking perfectionism to psychosomatic diseases. The higher the degree of tendency for perfection, the more psychological deviations there are in humans.

And today’s society is imbued with the aspiration to be flawless, perfect, strong, healthy, and young in all areas of life – in relationships, at work, in family, and in spirituality. Especially in spirituality.

Many think they have to be morally impeccable to be close to God, that they shouldn’t feel the way they feel to achieve that “holiness” and earn heaven. That we shouldn’t fight with a husband/wife, and never feel anger towards our children, because it’s just not spiritual, sacred, and God-like.

I mean, we’re still going home from church services with a list of things we should or shouldn’t be doing, because otherwise…

Humanity is a life-long condition

Of course, I’m not making excuses for a man to do anything he can think of, especially if it interferes with another man’s boundaries.

I am talking about the freedom to live as humans, as beings who make mistakes, where mistakes are actually an integral and crucial part of our existence, necessary for any kind of growth.

We were born to be real, not perfect!

And that’s the whole point. If we make a mistake, we’re going to hurt ourselves and experience a lot of guilt. We’re afraid to make mistakes. As a result, we’d rather not do anything than do something wrong.

We live in a bubble of our perfection and, in our prayers, we call the Holy Spirit but he can’t get in, because there’s no crack where the light can shine.

And so we live like Pharisees.

We give complete sacrifices to God by saying beautiful, elaborate, long prayers. We have complete control over our lives, all by the “rules”, and inwardly we are empty.

God made you human and loves you that way

Remember what happened to the Roman soldier who gave Jesus a mortal blow on the cross. God didn’t punish him. No lightning from the sky burned him. No, from the wound of Jesus, love and mercy spilled on him and he converted.

Holiness grows in imperfection. A light that can only penetrate if there’s room for it. That’s a crack.

Don’t try to be perfect. Live like a human!

Maybe someone close to you won’t like it, but God surely will. He accepts you and loves you – without conditions!